5 Dumbest Things You Can Do On Facebook

From: http://www.news4jax.com/entertainment/25115487/detail.html

Avoid These Classic Social Networking Mistakes

Trent Lorcher, Contributing writer

If Facebook is to be believed, then 98 percent of the people you went to high school with have rock solid abs, earn a six-figure salary, have completed several iron man triathlons (last month), have a time share in Maui, and still have equity in their home.

What about the other 2 percent, the ones who haven't cured a major disease, the ones who haven't established orphanages in Third World countries that didn't exist until they helped establish a democratic form of government?

They're equally divided between honest people and stupid people.

Being honest is great and all, admirable really, but boring nonetheless. It's the stupid people you want to know about, and you've come to the right place.

You've no doubt already run into some of these people, but nevertheless, we present the five dumbest things you can do on Facebook.

Dumbest Facebook Mistake No. 5

Posting Risque Photos

There are two types of people in the world: those you want to see naked and those you don't.

The latter forms more than 99 percent of the population, which means that odds are nobody wants to see you naked, in a Speedo, or bare-chested with aluminum foil wrapped around your private parts.

If you belong to the 1 percent, well, then congratulations, but you still should probably keep those photos to yourself.

Keep in mind that posting a revealing photo of yourself on Facebook is like getting a tattoo: It's permanent. Even if you delete it, Big Brother has a copy of it, as does your boss, your sworn enemy, and the guy in cubicle No. 3 gunning for your job, not to mention all your family members you're "friends" with.

The good news about risque photos is it just might stop your aunt Mildred from sending status updates every 14 seconds.

Dumbest Facebook Mistake No. 4

Constant Status Updates

Many have forgotten the main purpose of Facebook: To make people think you're successful.

Nothing, however, screams "I'm a big loser with way too much free time on my hands" louder than constant updates and challenges and quizzes and pictures and gifts and invitations.

When you sent that mafia challenge to your 10 closest friends, five of whom don't exactly remember who you are, you thought it was good, clean cyber-bonding. In actuality, it was a desperate plea for help, a cry for love, a proclamation that you're kind of a loser.

When you posted updates of your breastfeeding schedule, you made several men squirm in discomfort and several men squirm with passion.

When you sent status updates of the various-colored poop found in your baby's diaper, you signaled to the world that you have completely lost your identity.

Dumbest Facebook Mistake No. 3

Posting Embarrassing Or Important Personal Info

You're not the guy on the Lifelock commercial. You should, therefore, keep important identifying information off Facebook.

"But it's just my friends," you claim. If you consider that guy who sat three rows behind you in chemistry class 23 years ago a friend, then yes. Even so, why do your friends need a copy of your driver's license and birth certificate or even your address?

Most people aren't stupid enough to intentionally divulge important information. Embarrassing information, on the other hand, has made many an inroad on Facebook.

Nobody wants or needs to know, for example, that you're urinating blood, or that you're constipated, or that you got rejected by 14 people at last night's work party, or that you're having a torrid affair or that you're questioning your sexuality.

Especially your boss.

Dumbest Facebook Mistake No. 2

'Friending' Your Boss

You might like your boss. There's nothing wrong with that. You probably criticize your boss from time to time. There's nothing wrong with that. You might even sleep with your boss ... Well, we're not here to judge.

Whatever you do, don't friend your boss on Facebook.

If you don't think employers research what their employees are doing, you're naïve. Your boss would probably find it interesting that you're in Hawaii when you're supposed to be in the hospital. He or she also might find it interesting that you openly ponder if it's time to consider a "career change."

In addition to not friending bosses, be careful about friending co-workers. Don't think they're not collecting damaging information on you, ready for presentation when the next promotion comes up.

And don't think they won't make a mockery of you at the next staff meeting by displaying all your grammatical defects.

Dumbest Facebook Mistake No. 1

Murdering The English Language

Don't you realize that all your friends, all your wannabe friends, and all those people you knew 20 years ago who you're trying to impress, see what you put on your wall?

And don't you realize that every misspelled word, misused homonym, badly placed comma and awkward grammatical structure makes them think you're stupid?

True, nobody likes a grammar tattle-tale, so most people won't come out and blatantly correct you. But it's not that hard to quickly proofread a three-sentence statement.

If you're vain enough to think that what you have to say is so important that you have to put it on Facebook for everybody to see, then it's important enough to not write it like a 5-year-old. Actually, a 5-year-old might have better spelling skills.

And one last note: Just BECAUSE YOU WRITE IT IN ALL CAPS DOESN'T MAKE ME WANT TO READ IT MORE. IN FACT, IT'S REALLY DUMB.